Tuesday, 20 May 2014

I Shall Vote Yes

I shall vote Yes because after three hundred years in the United Kingdom, Scotland is one of the richest countries in the world 
I shall vote Yes because I like the Queen
I shall vote Yes because I want to carry on using the British Pound 
I shall vote Yes because I don't want border posts between Scotland and England

I shall vote Yes because I want to keep watching the BBC
 
I shall vote Yes because I want to carry on charging non-Scottish British students for an education   
I shall vote Yes because I want Scotland to carry on spending 50% more on scientific research than it pays for 
I shall vote Yes because I hate Londoners greedily taking resources and not sharing them with Scotland
and  
because I want Scotland to greedily take resources and not share them with Londoners  
I shall vote Yes because in 2010 I hated being ruled by a Westminster government that got as little as 35.6% of the vote in Scotland
I shall vote Yes because in 2010 I loved being ruled by a Holyrood government that got as much as 32.9% of the vote in Scotland   
I shall vote Yes because I want to be just like that country which is currently successful and not at all like that other country which I wanted to be like a few years ago  
I shall vote Yes because my definition of a bully is a unionist politician who doesn't do what I tell them to do 
I shall vote Yes because I want the Scottish Olympic team to have the same kind of success that the Scottish football team has 
I shall vote Yes because the word Yes is positive and the word No is negative    
I shall vote Yes because deep in my heart I believe that everything I like about the country I live in is Scottish and everything I don't like is British 


by Ian Gent
20 May 2014

Author's notes: 

This is based on "I shall vote Labour", a 1966 poem by Christopher Logue, though more directly on "I Shall Vote No" by A.R. Frith.

I am reliably assured that some people got through Frith's piece without realising it was not serious, so I will state a disclaimer.  My current expectation is actually that I will vote No.

No comments:

Post a comment